


Suburban Minefield

by Burningchaos



Category: Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-07
Updated: 2011-04-07
Packaged: 2017-10-17 17:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/179621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burningchaos/pseuds/Burningchaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Thomas go shopping at Micheal's (For the Funny square at the fandomverse bigbang)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suburban Minefield

“What are we doing at Michael’s?” Thomas’ sounded mildly offended as he said the name.

“A woman died during a scrapbooking class last month, the manager was convinced her spirit was hanging around so he had me come in and do a ‘cleansing’.” I tried not to take advantage of people too often, but really I don’t make enough to turn down all the dishonest crappy jobs that come my way when I’m not busy saving the world from fairies, future evil overlords and vampires.

Thomas laughed. “Seriously?” I watched him; it was good to hear him laugh. These days it didn’t happen as often as it should, not when he meant it anyways.

“Yeah, and since he couldn’t officially hire me I get free stuff.” We walked inside the store and I repressed a shudder. I normally picked up what I needed at Walmart. It was cheap, I knew exactly where everything was and I could shop at two in the afternoon or one in the morning.

This place was generic, large and filled with bored suburban housewives. The entire store was literally a minefield for Thomas. The Blue Beetle was in the shop, again. I’d considered asking Murphy for a ride, I was brave not stupid because she’d have hit me for even suggesting it.

“You know you’ve taken me to some pretty scary places little brother, but after this I think I may have to start asking more questions before I agree to cart you around.” Thomas stared at the isles of cloth, yarn and silk flowers as he spoke before he turned toward me. “Really, this should come with hazard pay.”

“Man up,” I smacked him on the shoulder, grabbed a cart and left him staring after me. I was three isles away from him when he caught up.

“Do not leave me here alone.” Thomas was attractive; more than that he was the walking love child of a Bowflex and Calvin Klein add. He couldn’t help it the way he looked, or the people that he attracted, he was an incubus and it was all part and parcel of the package but he was also on the wagon. He didn’t feed nearly as much as his demon wanted and after watching one or two of the women in the store I was almost afraid for his safety not to mention slightly jealous. I mean, I am taller and just as ruggedly handsome, emphasis on the rugged, but I’m the Clark Kent to his Superman. No one ever notices Clark Kent unless he is stumbling over something or running off to ‘call’ Superman.

I reached over and patted his arm, “Don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll protect your virtue – oh look, modeling clay I need that.”

“Thanks, your concern warms my heart. Really.” Thomas looked behind us as he spoke, “That lady in the spandex grabbed my ass when I walked past her.” I turned slightly to look and shuddered.

“That is just…” I searched for the right words and found my vocabulary lacking, “wrong on so many levels.”


End file.
